This little story can help us manage the fault-finding and discontented tendencies that sometimes arise in our relationships...

After the wedding ceremony, the father of the bride took his son-in-law aside to offer some advice on how to have a long and happy married life.

"So do you love my daughter a lot?" he asked the young man.

"Oh yes! I love her more than my own life," the young man sighed.

"And you probably think that she is the most wonderful person in the world?" the old man continued.

"She is perfect. She is completely amazing in each and every way," the young man cooed.

"That’s how it is when you get married," said the father. "But after a few years, you will begin to see the flaws in my daughter. When you begin to notice her flaws, I want you to remember this son-in-law...

”If she didn't have those flaws to begin with, she would have married someone much better than you!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Three important lessons I got from this story:

1) Be grateful for the faults of your partner
When we are in love it can seem like the other person is perfect. This perception is usually short-lived. True love lies in being deeply grateful for the faults of our partner. Why? Because if they did not have those faults they would be with someone much better than us right now!

2) What we appreciate, appreciates
When we observe and appreciate the good qualities of our partner, those good qualities increase. When we observe and criticize their weaknesses, those qualities increase. The way forward is to convey our needs without judgment and then to notice and praise every small effort made by the other to change and improve.

3) Be the best possible version of yourself
If we want the best kind of partner, we have to make an effort to be the best possible version of ourself. The way to the heart lies in by supporting and empowering each other, never by complaining about each other!


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